Panda Wong

my dream funeral

inspired by Scatter my ashes at Bergdorf's
i investigate the logistics of a similar endeavour at david jones

i want fifty dancers on fifty poles like that taiwanese politician, gyrating at a rate impossible for grief

prayers & titillation, tears & blushing
the tying and untying of many bows
empathy unfurling like a satin flower off a runaway bride’s gown

i want rihanna to be there
i want her to find a puppy in the bathroom
i want her to name it after me

i want all of my crushes and ex-crushes and potential crushes to be there
ugly crying

roll my ashes up in a joint like kurt cobain’s
smoke me in a room of white edgelord artists
their durries held aloft between the toes of their margiela tabis

either ether way, i have always wanted to be some version of air

i want teresa teng songs to play 
slowly, luxuriously, romantically.
let there be karoake all night, how badly i want people to share my
penchant for performance, the braveness of being
off-key

i imagine that 
all the doulas there will be really chic 
& it will be one of their top ten funerals that they have attended THIS YEAR!
they will all be glad that they have missed multiple childbirths to be here

for the very first time, i will not feel embarrassed to garner all of the attention
i want to be able to watch over proceedings in 
the shape of the very best me

… where has that elusive bitch been all this lifetime?

resignation e-mail my last words 
to the office…
sky-write them into 
the violently setting sky… 

“you be good.
see you tomorrow. 
i love you.”