MJ Santiago

I Literally Never Know What Is Happening Around Me

but even I can see the roach on the wall of this Taco Bell
and the manager who is, maybe, 
my father

maybe-dad is furtively waving la cucaracha towards the exit. 

My hands freeze in place.
Eyes track each tiny motion of another ineffable thing.
We all consider our next moves.

Who am I to say that this shredded chicken mini-quesadilla
is any less delicious because of its proximity to something gross?

I budgeted three dollars for dinner and now
I am not capable of missing out on life's good parts. 

I want all of life's cheesy, sauce-covered things.

Envisioning a Constellation Forming the Image of a Roach on the Wall of this Taco Bell

and another, the well-meaning manager
trying to politely shuffle him or her out the constellation window
not out of love or decency to even the sky's grossest creature
but because sometimes the easy kill is the harder answer

the manager constellation envisions the roach
smeared against the starlit plaster. the sound of the whack
reverberating across each layer of my 7 layer burrito,
eye-shaped stars widening in disgust and hands stopping in place.

sometimes it's better to do whatever is quietest
regardless of anything else. keep what is small
but glowing grossly in the sky alive at the very least, 
still small.