issue 5

december 29, 2020

editors’ note

Good greetings, fellow internet interlocutors. Alas! The end of 2020 has arrived!!!! What an absolute shithole shindig of a life we are in! And still, somehow, we are blonging like we have never blonged before. We have both been so sad we have barely been able to exist, and yet, as we tend to do, we are focusing on our accomplishments. Our little blongs of might.

What have we accomplished? Not eating regularly. Not pooping properly. Zero healthy sleep schedules. But. One of us won the like giant freaking Nobel Peace Prize!!! And the other applied to graduate school. And one of those is a lie. And one of us is finishing his second book. And both of us have said, on facetime, I love you. I am grateful for you. You make life worth living. The last one we said just now, while working on this editors’ note. This very one!

You know what else makes life worth living? Underblong! We expanded our team by bringing on an amazing new Managing Editor, Catherine, and five fantabulous new readers, Albert, Angelina, Aerik, Cassandra, and Juliette. These new blongees have joined our already wonderful team, which includes Mag, E Yeon, and Billy—making us a team of eleven! Thanks to this blongteam’s efforts, this is our first time ever putting out two issues in the same year. And of all years to do that, we “chose” this truly burning hell year of 2020.

But the poems. The poems!!!!! Never have we felt so inundated with submissions so gorgeous, we just had to keep accepting work. This is our giantest issue. We wondered—what is the meaning of Captain America? And Clio M.W. Hamilton wondered alongside us, “Was it gay people?” Josh Tvrdy gave the indisputably best advice for 2020, instructing us to “fack me with your jeet.” Sasha Debevec-McKenney proves that rewatching Babe is a deeply inspiring experience, maybe too inspiring. sam jya ku offers us a vital lesson on “the baddest of bad boys in the english language.” While Kemi Alabi asks the question we’re all pondering, “But where’s the love poem for me, my partner, / their partner, our lovers and their rented doms?”

These poems have reminded us, you can hug yourself when you can’t hug anyone else. These poems give us the most giggly life, while recognizing the wrenching griefs that we are collectively, and individually, struggling through. These poems have honestly made the two of us excited about life for the first time in weeks. We hope, as you read them, that you feel loved in the way these poems have made us feel loved.

Please hold your toes over your heads, and take in all that is Issue 5.

Blongily and always,
Sam and Chen

poems

Clio M.W. Hamilton - “still life as a dreamscape on pause”

Sasha Debevec-McKenney - “HOW TO TELL IF YOU WERE DATING” and “STAND UP ROUTINE”

Josh Tvrdy - “Befuckled” and “Hot Warts”

Urvi Kumbhat - “Depressed Poem from Gilmore Girls Quotes”

stephanie roberts - “Unmet”

Aline Dolinh - “Self-Portrait as Ending of a Wuxia Film”

Kemi Alabi - “prayer in child’s pose” and “Polyamory Defense #324”

Juliana Chang - “Rahul, when I ask him to throw away his broken office chair for the 50th time this week”

George Abraham - “well… *grabs wine glass* when the world ends, i hope we go down dancing ahha!”

Angbeen Saleem - “poem mad lib for the apocalypse”

Casey Smith - “sonnet for prefrontal cortex” and “The manatees at Lowry Park kiss their buddies”

Calum O’Connell - “is it vegan to eat cum?”

Austere Rex Gamao - “A Resume for Good Employers Only”

Christian Aldana - “It’s 9:30am, I’ve ran four miles, cried four times, & eaten two chicken sandwiches”

Angelina Mazza - “My Mother Believes My Dead Uncle's Spirit Lives Within Me” and “Bible Study”

Nico Amador - “Maggot Rhyme”

andie millares - “By Tuesday, I am fading”

Jake Byrne - “SATURDAY NIGHT'S ALRIGHT FOR FISTING”

sam jya ku - “when i think trans i think BiG L O GiSTICS TRUCK”

a barbosa - “Ode to future farm”

Jessica Abughattas - “The Blood Move” and “Happy Birthday You Delicious Fuck”

Dennison Ty Schultz - “Today I’m Not Thinking About Gender”